they never taught us to be fearless....

My friend Havilah (she’s going to be a famous writer some day) told me this story about the lady who invented Spanks. She said that this lady’s dad used to reward his kids when they failed at something. He did this so they would never be afraid of trying and failing. I love that idea! That story just spoke volumes to me because that is a fear that every human being has. The fear of failing and that they will not be good enough. I’m kind of, scratch that, I am experiencing this right now.

So aside from writing, I have this dream of becoming a spoken word artist one day. The fact that I don’t think I am already speaks volumes of my fear. I’ve tried recording my poetry and making videos but I always delete them. When I press play, my voice doesn’t sound like Amena Brown or Bradley Hathaway or Mos Def or Common….well, you get the point. See, I know that I should want to sound like my authentic self and inside of my inside of my inside, I do want that. I just have that fear that I won’t be enough.

I heard Oprah say one day that “everyone wants to know that they are enough.” That is so true. Isn’t that why we shy away from things or we fear to show our authentic self? It is that fear that we will not be enough that paralyzes us. We give other people permission to be who they are but we are afraid of doing it ourselves. If I felt that EVERYTHING that makes up who I am was enough, fear would have no room. I would be 100% confident, secure, loving, and bold—but alas, I am not. So that is my plan for 2011, I guess my New Year resolution, to know, say, and commit to the fact that I am enough and I will welcome every great thing that God has to offer. I am secure. I am confident. I am beautiful. I am 100% me.

So this year, let’s be enough for ourselves. Jesus Christ said “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” The key here is to first love yourself fully and then you will understand how to love your neighbor. If you love yourself with everything you have, you can’t help but love others the same way. Jesus pretty much knew what he was talking about. So, I’m going to record some poetry and I’m going to learn to be fearless. I’ll leave you with some words from Marianne Williamson.

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do.....As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”