“Huh!” is my first response. “I mean, of course I love them.
But can’t you see I’m right?! God, you know I’m right and this person just wants
to provoke me! And I mean it’s not like this person is a sinner. They’re a
Christian!”
And by this time I’m spiritually crossing my hands and
pouting because I love being corrected (sarcasm). I hear the voice again, “Why
does it matter if you’re right? Do you love them? Are you behaving like my
disciple right now?”
I’m not even going to lie to you reader, it’s like nails on
chalkboard. I don’t want to hear it. I want God to justify me. I would love for
him to acknowledge the fact that I’m not the one in the wrong position here!
But he doesn’t. He simply asks me to explore whether I’m operating out of love.
At that moment, I don’t respond. Later,
when I return to that question searching the Word, scripture shines like a
fiery arrow in the darkness, and the words land like salt on a fresh wound.
“….So see to it that you really do love each other intensely
with all of your hearts.” -1 Peter 1:22
This is the part where I begin to unravel and realize I
understand nothing about the love God is asking me to offer to others.
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love you neighbor’ and
hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute! In
that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven … you
are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” --Matthew 5:43-48
Sometimes, as believers, we know that we’re supposed to love sinners…you know, love the sinner, hate sin. But there are times, I believe, God purposely places us amidst other believers who just rub us the wrong way. When you’re around them, it’s like two pieces of sand paper rubbing together. It just feels wrong.
This particular day, I asked Jesus why I was experiencing this
and he answered with 1 Peter 1:6-7:
“So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure …. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
And I won’t try to pretend that suddenly I had this epiphany
of love and I’m walking around showering people with the love Jesus offered,
but I will say that it helped me understand the reason we experience these
problems. My faith is being tested. You cannot prove to be a marathon runner
until you have proven you can get off the couch, until you can run a mile,
until you can run a 10k…it’s a process. My faith and my ability to love is a process,
and it’s one that I cannot accomplish on my own. I need his help. It’s
imperative that Jesus helps me or I will fail.
The truth about those two pieces of sandpaper is that they
will eventually become smooth. I don’t know about you, but I want my faith to
remain strong. To be refined like gold so when Jesus returns, I can bring to
him a precious offering.
So this blog is to say that I’m continuously learning. As
God continues to smooth my edges, it will hurt and I will suffer, but in the suffering,
I know that he is with me. In the suffering, I understand that even though he
has every right to walk away, he does not. I will take his correction and chastisement because
even in that he is with me. I will endure it because I would rather experience suffering
with Jesus than ecstasy without him. Without him, the joy you have is an
illusion.
