I was listening to Jason Upton’s Father of the Fatherless today and it just sent me on a whirlwind of memories and wonderings about my life and others’ lives. I grew up fatherless till I was about eleven. My mom married my stepdad and I thank God that I was blessed with a great family. However, in saying that, I do wonder what I lack now as a woman from the absence of my father in those early years of my life. Did that have an effect on me? Could that be why from about middle school to late high school, I suffered with severe self-esteem issues? I’m not sure but I do believe it played a part. I look around at so many people that I know that have grown up without a father or have grown up in divided households and I see what a huge effect that has had on their lives. Now, I’m not putting pressure on just fathers. I know mothers, brothers, sisters play a part, but I think there’s a significant break when Adam deserts Eve and she is left to fend for her children on her own. There is a gigantic shift in the garden when the man God has appointed to have dominion over the animals and be the spiritual head over his household decides to say “No, God. I don’t want that responsibility.” Everything falls. I thank God that I had a mother who held my life together as a child and a family who later took me in and loved me as their own. I, however, had to learn from what I could pick up from life. When I got saved at eleven, I approached God with such fear. Not the healthy fear of God, the unhealthy fear because I used to think he would run. That I would disappoint him. It took me a long time to grasp the fact that God loves you just because He loves you. No strings attached. And that He will never forsake you. On the other side of the coin is the fact that when I grasped this fact, I started to relate to God as my father more than anything else. I’ve learned slowly by slowly how to be vulnerable with him. To let him love me. To receive his love.
I’ve also seen the remnants of the absence of a father in my early years on how I relate to men now. It’s hard to be vulnerable. And there are times when I catch myself trying to leave before someone leaves me. It’s only by the grace of God that He shines light on these issues in my life and I allow Him to mold me every day. I share my story so as to show the importance of fathers. What significant role they play in their children’s lives. A father could be the difference between a confident, beautiful woman and a woman who gives herself away just to be accepted by a man. The difference between a man who is strong and adventurous and a man who is weak and lives in fear of failing. We need our fathers. We need Adam to be strong, to come through, to love his children.
As Jason Upton prays, Father of the fatherless, come down and rescue us……
Here’s the song…
I don’t know how, to say what I’m feeling
I don’t have words, to write you a song
But I have this hope and I have this prayer
and I am believing your words are true
you never leave us alone
Father of the fatherless, come down and rescue us
we need you, we need you again
friend of the friendless, come down and visit us
we need you, we need you again
How many sons, have cried for their fathers
and how many fathers, have cried like a son
now every tear saved through the years in memory’s bottle
becomes the fine wine, You serve to the children of god
Father of the fatherless, come down and rescue us
we need you, we need you again
friend of the friendless, come down and visit us
we need you, we need you again
