Have you deserted this desert?

I once heard Judah Smith that sometimes prayer is just "chucking stuff at God." Have you ever read the Psalms?  David was definitely chucking stuff at God. I believe that is part of the reason God calls him a man after His heart. David was not afraid of being completely honest with God, even in his sin. Why wouldn't he? God knows the depths of our hearts anyways. That honesty also portrays that David had an intimate relationship with God. So I encourage you to pray honest prayers. I offered a prayer that I wrote down a few months ago that I considered one of those truly raw prayers. I wanted to share as an example of transparency. Who else knows all of you? I needed Him, and because He is faithful, He answered. My response is in italics, His in red, and my comments in bold.

My prayer: I am dry bones soon to turn to ashes. I have nothing left. No stories of my past regrets. I just know I have nothing left. Nothing is quenching this dry land. There are no rivers and I highly doubt that if I stumble around this ground, I'll find any streams here.

My God, have you deserted this desert? Have you finally grown tired of empty promises and mumbled prayers before dinner that I toss at you as if I'm doing you a favor?

Because all I know right now is that these songs of worship aren't even cracking the ground. Father, they're not even scratching the surface. These book discussions and theological sessions are nothing but a drop of water that evaporates before it hits the ground of my heart. Nothing is sinking. There is no water to sink in. What do you want from me?!

His response: a contrite heart. 

My response: Contrite, what does that even mean? {so I search for the definition}
Definition: feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming.

But I do that God? Don't you hear the prayers that I offer every night asking you to forgive me for sometimes I don't know what I'm doing? 

I have perfectly deluded myself into thinking that I am perfect. So contrite? I do feel that I am contrite. 

His response: No, a contrite heart requires brokenness. You cannot "feel or show sorrow" if you're not broken. You cannot be "remorseful for shortcomings" without being broken. 

"Laughing feels better right now."

I am currently reading Streams of Mercy by Mark Rutland* and in the book, Rutland highlights how at times, we are unable to have mercy on ourselves. Life tends to jolt us with pain and struggles. Most times, we feel lost. As if we’re just wandering and hoping to leave a mark in this world.

 I’m a wanderer as well. I’m about to embark into my mid 20s and I’m still figuring it out. But maybe that is life, trusting God and figuring it out as you go.

 Rutland says that sometimes you have to look at the problems in your life and laugh. Absolve them and laugh. I love to laugh. I love those heaving chuckles that hurt your stomach and bring tears to your eyes. I love when you see something that is funny and a friend sees it too and you just burst out laughing. No words are necessary.  I love catching smiles from strangers. I love laughing at movies and quoting them for the rest of the week. I love meeting people with the same humor as me. I love watching kids laugh. I love how easy it is to make kids laugh. They know not the cares of this life, and that is so precious. I love watching my grandparents laugh because they have known the cares of this life and they laugh anyways. So find someone who makes you laugh today and just laugh. Be the cause of laughter for someone else. Watch a funny video or movie. Watch other people laugh because laughing is contagious. 

Psalms 126:2- Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them."

Proverbs 15:13- A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.

Psalms 63:5-7- My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

"The men whom I have seen succeed best in life have always been cheerful and hopeful men, who went about their business with a smile on their faces, and took the changes and chances of this mortal life like men, facing rough and smooth alike as it came." -Charles Kingsley

"Joy is the serious business of Heaven." -C.S. Lewis

*Amazon link

http://www.amazon.com/Streams-Mercy-Receiving-Reflecting-Grace/dp/0892839988/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1361808101&sr=1-2&keywords=streams+of+mercy